Hand in the dark

Here you are. Perhaps one day searching through the busy shelves of a bookstore, or scrolling online and having taken a brief notice of this title, you’ve opened this to find out more. This book; a diary, a method of self-help, a dictionary, an encyclopaedia, and a story. It exists for a whole array of reasons, of which I would happily share with you. Firstly I find it an honour that you’ve decided to open Hand in The Dark and I thank you greatly even for these first steps.

Mum has cancer, short and simple. None of us saw it coming and none of us were even remotely prepared. This book gave me the chance to sum up what I felt, what we saw, what we learned, and how I grew over the first two years of a story with a serious illness.

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Who is this for?

Ultimately, it was selfishly for me. It helped. But as this project grew, I feel more and more that this is for those who have cancer, those who are surrounding cancer, those who are helping, those who are onlookers from the outside, and even those who are interested in learning more on the subject.

At first, this was a simple idea to write down thoughts that could not escape my mind. It helped to put them somewhere and express my feelings without “burdening” someone else (the first of many severely incorrect thoughts as that was). The story describes events that changed me and my family forever. Physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

I use this story of highs and lows to help provide more information on this topic. There are some events you may have heard of and many others that even surprised us. If you are either beginning, currently experiencing, or have experienced a similar journey to me, I am also able to share the knowledge gained from time spent in therapy. I aim to tie the theories I learnt to the events of this story and describe how they were useful to pull myself out of a dark place.

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Intentions

There are a long list of inevitable and irreversible implications when an illness such as cancer develops, from the physical or emotional, to the very flow of life surrounding everyone involved. There are some impacts that are commonly known through modern media, or word of mouth, and others that are truly only discovered through experience. As I continue my own personal journey by helping my mum through such a time, a lot has been discovered about both the people around me and, just as importantly, even about myself. It was these reasons, among others, that lead to this situation of putting pen to paper.

The main intentions here are not only to highlight the potential experiences of an illness that is ever more occurring in today’s society, but also to suggest and extend a thought process towards those involved in close proximity; family, friends, carers. In my ongoing experience to this day, I have been incredibly thankful of the treatment processes in place and how far they have progressed in recent years. The support in mental health is also moving substantially more towards the forefront in treatment, as the medical world links the emotional impacts alongside the physical. However it is here that this writing takes a different path. Whilst I can give a clearer understanding of the patient’s mindset and experiences, it also brings to light the areas that have less information. Areas that, understandably, are not thought of as much, or even expected when discussing cancer.

Whether this document can help one person, or many, I am grateful to have the opportunity to provide more information on a subject that affects a great number of people worldwide everyday. If I can help anyone who feels as alone as I did when all odds were against us, then it was worth it. I take a warm comfort in providing my experiences, and aim to do all I can in helping others through that same dark route.
 

The chapters listed work alongside a timeline, which is provided throughout this book at each main point of discussion. It describes around two years of my recent life, and the main factors I can remember that influence both who I am today, and those around me.

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